i've stopped responding to any and all dms or emails or messages or calls. i don't want to connect anymore. i'm sorry. just let me sleep please. you're better off without me. i don't care anymore. just stop. you're all so obsessed with me. i get it. you think i'm some prophet i'm just a kid. i'm just a sick kid who needs help. please get off my website i don't like the eyes on me all the time. you're lucky i still write these for you to gawk at. "Uncovering the secrets of BlueAzalea" "The Weirdest Neocities ARG Ever" go away please i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you. stop stop stop. stop making things about me. i'm not a zoo animal i'm just me.

Rain rain go away come again another day, please

my mom died today

It's just me and my sister now. So that means it's just me. Maybe now I can get things done around here. I took mom's old radio and started playing around with it. I missed listening to the numbers. Raine hasn't heard from me in a while. No one has. I don't care. They can manage.

A man spoke to me through the radio today

He claimed to be a demon. I never believed in demons before today.

I spent all day crying. People were fighting in a group chat I was added to and it made me want to kill myself. I don't know why. I don't even like any of them. I wasn't even part of it.

WHY DO YOU PEOPLE FUCKING HATE ME. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME SPECIFICALLY

i saw an old friend today. she was watering my grandma's azaleas.

They're still making me go to church. Adam keeps coming to my house and forcing me to attend church. And you wonder why nevada didn't fucking work out for you

I hate the internet now. I wish I could delete every instance of myself and never exist again. I hate it when church says we go to heaven when we die. I don't want to exist forever. I don't even want to live until 30. Eternity terrifies me. I could be 1 billion years old and it still would only be the very, very, very beginning of my life.

I don't want that.

Love is a scam made by Big Marriage to sell more weddings. Stop texting me you love me. I want to kill each and every single one of you. i hate you ALL. YOU ALL MAKE ME WANT TO PROJECTILE VOMIT. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

My sister is leaving too. She's moving to california and isn't taking me. cool. leave me here. i don't care anymore. everyone hated me. everyone hates me. everyone wants me to die and rot here and you know what i think i'm okay with that. i'm not even mad anymore.

One of my teeth fell out today