park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor
I had a dream last night where I was walking through the hospital. Zena wasn't in her room, but there was a little wolf puppet. I was limping along with an IV dripping into my arm. I eventually made it into the church but it was different. It felt fake. Made of cardboard and colored with markers. It wasn't but it felt like that. Like I was in a place someone made as a child. Reminded me of an old TV show. One of the ones with puppets. I should add that to my VHS collection. If only I remembered the name... Oh well.
It felt like I was in a planetarium. All too familiar. I don't miss being 8 years old.
It's been a constant, since day one, that humanity has had to build their own gods. This is out of fear and ignorance towards those that've already existed and will exist.
I'm not scared. Please, tell me you see me. I'm not scared.
Don't I taste good enough? Why do you spit me out?
I wish I could live in a commune, far far away from everything. Deep in the woods. We wouldn't procreate. We'd simply make our mark and die.
Maybe someone would make a cool youtube video exploring our homes. Maybe they'd find our remains.
Have you ever seen a video of someone removing RAM from a computer while it's on? It doesn't seem too bad. I was almost mauled by a mountain lion when I was younger. It can't be much worse than that. Maybe I should try it.
I miss when my birthday felt special.
Did you know, you can't die by suicide while in office as the President of the United States? It's cosmically forbidden. This is why John F. Kennedy performed a ritual to summon 63 invisible ghouls to appear all around him and make his head explode. Of course, the CIA blamed this on some poor bystander. It's what they do best.
The carnival is in town. That means the circus is here with it. I snuck out last night to go. I've always loved the carnival. All the pretty lights.. It's the only place I feel free. I ate cotton candy and pop corn and deep fried oreos and mac and cheese chicken sandwiches. It was the first time I'd eaten in days and I vomited it all up. I loved every second of it. I want to kiss whoever did this to me. I want to slip my tongue in their mouth and fulfill their every wish. I wouldn't feel anything during it. Maybe hate. But I'd love every second of it. This is my sex.
I met a girl dressed as the local college's mascot, representing their football team or whatever. Stupid wolf costume. She was hot though. Zoey, I think her name was. She was staring at my tits all night. I noticed. I took her out for drinks after the carnival closed for the night. We kissed. She wasn't very good at it, but that's okay. Neither am I. She made me laugh. I want to see her again but I don't think it'll happen. She saw my scars and felt sorry for me. I don't want to deal with that.
Zoey woke up next to me earlier this morning. I didn't know how to tell her I didn't want anything to do with her. She made me feel too warm. I didn't know what to do. I was too quiet, I think. She gave me her number. I don't know what to do.