There's no one in MailMan's SCP containment cell, it's padded and has one bed. All teleportation powers are blocked. MailMan maintains an unhealthily happy smile as he waits politely.
"I sure hope I can make my route at this rate!" he says to himself quietly. Some time passes and MailMan still smiling ear to ear, "Certainly hope I can get back on my route sometime soon!" He hasn't eaten, slept, or moved since he got there. There are bowls of mac and cheese at his feet as a scientist stares at him, confused. He smiles at the scientist, not moving, "Would you like this mac and cheese?" The thick glass window slides up to reveal a smaller pane behind it.
"No, how the fuck are you still alive?" Doctor Joshua asks.
"You know how it is, just livin' life!" MailMan replies.
"Fuck this, I'm testing on you," he presses a button and 3 guards approach the MailMan.
"Hello! Nice to meet you all, how're the kids?" MailMan asks, still smiling. The guards tilt their heads and sigh and gesture for MailMan to follow them as they walk out to the hallway. MailMan happily follows. They enter a room that has a metal operating table, as well as several other smaller tables that hold syringes and scalpels. The guards lead MailMan to the operating table and one of them points to the table
"Sit," they command.
"You dont have to tell me twice!" MailMan sits down, still smiling. One of the guards shoves him into a laying position, metal restraints locking him in place. The guards walk out of the room, and Joshua enters. Joshua is wearing a lab coat and his ID badge. MailMan continues to smile.
"So, how do you feel about being cut open?" Joshua asks, walking over to the MailMan.
"Cant say anyone is a fan of that one? Am I right?" MailMan still smiles.
"Shut the fuck up, anyways, time for you to meet good ole mr scalpel," Joshua picks up a scalpel and starts cutting MailMan wide open.
"Well, will ya look at that! Those are my vital organs!" MailMan smiles.
"How in the fuck? Are you not in pain?"
"I'm in immeasurable pain!"
"Then scream or something.."
"I didn't think you wanted me to hurt your ears!"
"I don't care about my ears, anyway, have you ever felt weak?" Joshua sets down the scalpel and picks up a syringe, flicking the needle.
"I'm a mailman, I'm all about the week! Ha Ha Ha!" MailMan laughs. Joshua injects the MailMan with the syringe, almost instantly he feels weak. MailMan's eyelids go down some as his large smile shakes. Joshua smirks picking up another syringe, flicking the needle, "Oh, is our cheery friend not feeling so cheery anymore?"
"Aw shucks, you see me as a friend already! Man, you guys are the greatest!" MailMan smiles. Joshua groans annoyingly and injects the syringe, he feels nervous as the colors around him shift slightly. MailMan says, "Can't say I feel on top of the world right about now!" he looks around the room, still holding a shakey, large smile, "But it certainly does look like a whole new world!"
"Do you ever stop smiling?"
"Why would I want to when I have friends to greet?"
"You have no friends here," Joshua grabs another syringe, the final one, he flicks the needle once more.
"Daw, you dont have to be so modest, I'm sure we can get to know each other!" MailMan smiles. Joshua injects the syringe with a smile, and MailMan feels woozy and his limbs feel like pins and needles.
"This certainly is a feeling! I could vomit right about now!"
"Then vomit, I dare you," Joshua grabs a suture kit and starts to stitch the MailMan's incision.
"I wouldn't want to ruin your floors! Hehe that tickles!"
"Trust me, worse stuff has been on this floor than vomit."
"So how's the family, Joe?"
"My name isn't Joe, and I'm thinking about fucking you up more if you ask more pointless questions." A monitor swings down from the ceiling, and the table MailMan is on is tilted so he is standing, though his feet don't touch the floor. He is being held by the restraints. The monitor flickers to life and shows poorly acted commercials.
"So what's your name then, bud? Ooh, these are great!" MailMan watches the monitor.
"I'm not telling you my name," the commercials slowly get worse eventually just advertising organs and various body parts.
"Oh my, this is certainly not family-friendly!" Mailman continues watching, still smiling.
"Mhm, keep watching"
"Roger that, Joe!"
"My name isn't Joe," the commercials get much worse, demonic chanting and sacrifices slowly becoming more and more noticeable.
"You might want to be careful showing this! I didn't see any parental warnings!"
"That's the point."
"Trying to knock people's socks off with this one, huh? It looks great! Where did you film? Did your family help out?"
"How are you not broken by any of this?"
"I can appreciate a great showman when I see one, and this??? Immaculate craftsmanship! Bravo!" MailMan still holds the shaky large smile.
"How are you still smiling?"
"What's so confusing about a great friendly smile?"
"Cause this is horrific."
"You were going for horrific right?"
"Yeah?"
"Great job then! you really got that nail on the head! Ha Ha Ha!"
"You know, I think I'm starting to like you."
"That's great to hear! What made you change your mind?"
"Your smile, I haven't seen anyone as tough as you."
"Oh, I'm not all that tough! You give me too much credit! You're great at sewing!" MailMan nods at the stitches.
"Thank you," Joshua giggles, the table tilts back to normal and the restraints release MailMan. MailMan lays there, still smiling. Joshua offers a hand, "We can leave together"
MailMan looks over, shakily smiling but doesn't move, "It seems the prescription drugs you used on me have made me weaker! And I can not move!"
"It's alright, I can carry you," Joshua scoops MailMan up into his arms, carrying him bridal style.
"Wow! You're strong!"
Joshua smiles, clearly using the majority of his strength, "T-thanks..! Now, let's get the fuck out of here before they notice."
"Maybe we should leave a letter asking them to not follow us!"
"I'm just gonna leave a sticky note that says I'm going on break," Joshua shifts to holding the majority of MailMan on his knee as he pulls out a sticky note and sticks it on the wall. It reads 'im going on break, fuck you'.
"I hope someone reads it!"
"I'm sure they will," Joshua shifts MailMan again so he is holding him bridal style, "Now let's get out of here, my little mailman."
"That's a clever nickname!"
"Thank you, I just came up with it," the scientist carries MailMan out of the room and into the hallway. They make their way out to the parking lot, and Joshua unlocks a black Cadillac. He puts MailMan in the backseat and hops in the driver's seat.
"I haven't been in such a nice car in a long time! I usually ride in mail trucks!" MailMan falls over
Joshua looks over his shoulder, "Do you need me to prop you up?"
"I'm great! Your car seats dont smell that bad either!"
"Thanks, I guess, are you ready to get out of here?"
"As ready as I'll ever be!"
Joshua pulls out of the parking lot making sure the MailMan doesn't get knocked around.