While [The Kiss] are relaxing in the living room, a knock is heard at the front door and an egg is found on the ground.
Knight picks up the egg. “Now we wait for another.”
A second knock is heard and a second egg is found.
Knight attempts to pick it up but because it is coated in soap, it slips out of his hands. Cole, still in his wrath form, caught it in his mouth and zooms to the backyard, running around it with in his mouth.
“Wh?” Kade said.
“Huh?” Luna responds, confused by the slippery nature of the egg
“He’ll come crawling back soon enough” said Spider
“Oh Gods” said Luna worried “Or his neck will get sliced open.”
“Exactly”, Spider said.
“What’s with the eggs?” asked Lock.
“We still don't know for sure Lock. There's this dude named Eggory that loves these eggs, but we have no idea why eggs, or why they're homeless.” Luna explains.
“I thought dogs were supposed to be gentle with eggs.” Drew said.
“What?” questions Spider
“Nope.” said Kade
“I mean even if he isn’t, he can heal himself.” Luna said, trying to calm the group down.
“You haven’t seen videos of dogs with eggs?” Drew asks, surprised
“No I haven’t” responds Spider
“Nope” said Luna.
“I have a bit. Depends on the dog usually” Kade explains
“Oh man I'll send some in the group chat later.” Drew said
“Ok?” said Spider.
Cole, (“eggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggeggegg”)
Luna sighs. “Man's using his telepathy channel to say egg over and over."
Annoyed, Luna turns down his volume, like a way too loud voice in a Discord call
“Anyway, Spider, do you have any ideas for a weapon?” asks Drew, seeing how Spider was grumbling about being nerfed as a human and unable to use knives.
At that point, a third knock happens. Knight goes to answer, but no one is there.
“Well I'm not allowed sharp things anymore so make of that what you will, and it needs to be portable.” Spider explains
“Collapsible batons?” asked Drew
“Sounds interesting”
“Give Spider a club!” exclaims Orpheus
“Welp, I’m breaking the egg since nothing showed up.” Knight said as he swallows the egg whole.
Cole, (“backyard”)
Knight, {COULD’VE SAID THAT BEFORE I ATE THE EGG}
Cole, (“FUCKING IDIOT”)
Knight, {OKAY MR. MONSTER CAN EATER}
Luna turns them both down, as even loud telepathic speech hurts her mind.
Cole, (“AT LEAST THAT IS LIKE A SWEET TREAT THAT CANNOT BE BEAT”)
Knight, {DONT QUOTE SLOGANS AT MEEEEEEE}
Cole, (“FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”)
With that, Knight leaves and heads to the backyard to greet Eggory. Luna, Spider, and Sparrow follows after him. Drew follows shortly after to sketch new weapons under the new gazebo he just built.
Eggory steps out from the trees and watches the [Kiss]
Knight attempts to trip Cole with the egg still in his mouth. It does not work, and Cole glares at Knight in annoyance.
“Gib egg” Knight says
Cole just stares at Knight
“You know what would be funny?” asks Knight
Cole tilts his head.
Luna, {“Cole, can you please give the egg to Eggory? I'll get you another femur if you do.”}
Spider walks out at this point and asks “So anyone been gutted yet?"
“Not yet” replies Luna
The Egg disappears from Cole’s mouth. Knight holds the egg and walks closer to Eggory.
Cole woofs at Knight. Knight woofs back. “I was gonna do it. I wanted the femur Luna offered.”
Knight realizes he might be in trouble. “Oh right. I swallowed an egg. Fuck.”
“Get gutted idiot” teases Cole
“Hey Cole, catch!” Knight tosses the egg to Cole, trying to break it. Cole catches it in his mouth, trots over to Eggory, and lays it on the ground in front of him. Eggory reaches down and examines the egg.
Knight, worried, asks “How do I get the egg out without getting gutted?”
“Simply put, you don’t.” explains Spider
“It also had soap on it. Idea.” Cole walks over to Knight and stares at his stomach.
“Well… don’t. Do not.”
Knight begins to back away in fear.
“Don’t you dare.”
Cole brandishes his claws and steps closer as thunder rolls in the distance.
“It’s the rules Knight” explains Cole.
“I’d rather my gut be intact!” says Knight, scared out of his wits
Drew looks up from his sketch and offers to snap the egg out of his stomach as Cole goes to choke Knight out.
Knight is able to roll out of Cole’s grasp and pleads to Drew for the egg to be removed. Drew snapped his fingers and the egg appears. Drew gives it to Eggory, whose hand is outstretched. Drew slaps a button on his backpack and a muffled “That was easy” could be heard from it.
“Of course you have one of those” says Cole.
“Yay! No one gets gutted today!” Cheered Knight
“Boring” drawled Spider
“I can still gut you Knight” said Cole
“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“It may come to you as a shocker but, I DO NOT LIKE PAIN”
"I don't either but I wanna see what a rabbit stomach loooks like"
“I’m a Demon Rabbit Twink, it wouldn’t be a regular Rabbit Stomach.”
“And that is why i wanna see it”
Unusally, the egg does not disappear and Eggory continues to stare at it. Thunder rolls in the distance again. We become worried.
“Is something wrong?” asks Cole
“Hopefully lightning doesn’t strike me again.” says Knight
Cole stared at Knight as lightning strikes in the distance.
“Cole please don’t.”, pleads Knight, “I have been struck twice this week and I’d rather not experience it again.”
“I haven't been hit by lighting. I wonder what it feels like”
“Cole, it's not fun.” said Luna, who has lots of experience with lightning, courtesy of Dolos.
Sensing something was wrong here, Luna walks up to Eggory and asks “Eggory, is something wrong with the egg?”
Eggory looked at Cole. Something about the look was sad. Cole walked over to him asking what’s wrong.
“▛▚ ▜▜ ▜▚ ▙▛ ▙▜ ▟▟ ▛▞ ▜▙ ▛▞ ▟▛ ▟▛ ▟▜ ▜▙ ▜▙ ▛▞ ▛▜ ▛▞ ▟▛ ▟▛ ▛▛ ▜▚ ▞▛ ▜▜ ▙▚ ▛▟ ▛▚ ▜▚ ▙▜ ▛▞ ▜▙ ▛▟”
His claymore formed in his other hand. Luna’s eyes widened as she watched it form.
Cole swapped back to his human form and asked “▟▞ ▙▙ ▛▛ ▟▙ ▛▟ ▜▜ ▞▛ ▜▜ ▟▜ ▜▛ ▛▞ ▛▛ ▜▙?”
--
Eggory enters a fighting stance, raising his blade in the air.
Cole sighs and draws his Marked sword. Frost forms at his feet and covers his hands and chest.
Eggory throws an egg at Cole, but the frost made it so the egg couldn’t crack and instead freeze.
Eggory then looks at Sparrow and started dashing towards him. Luna notices this and draws her own Marked sword, ready to defend her friend’s life.
Cole leaped and tackled Eggory to the ground. Normally the static on Eggory’s body would scramble Cole’s signals, but due to the frost covering his body, the static is blocked.
Cole says, “▟▞ ▙▙ ▛▛ ▟▙ ▙▙ ▛▛ ▟▛ ▙▛ ▜▜ ▟▙ ▟▙ ▛▞ ▜▙ ▙▜ ▜▙ ▟▙ ▜▜ ▞▛ ▜▜ ▟▜?”
Eggory’s static is glowing red. He snarls at Cole as his sharp teeth begins moving around.
“▞▛ ▜▜ ▟▜ ▛▙ ▙▜ ▟▙ ▙▜ ▜▙ ▙▛ ▜▛ ▛▞ ▟▞ ▙▜ ▙▚ ▙▚ ▜▜ ▜▙ ▙▚ ▞▛ ▜▛ ▛▛ ▙▞ ▛▞ ▟▙ ▙▙ ▙▜ ▟▛ ▟▞ ▜▜ ▜▚ ▟▛ ▛▞ ▛▚ ▜▜ ▜▚ ▞▛ ▜▜ ▟▜” he says, with a little bit of fear in his voice.
Eggory bites down onto Cole’s arm as blood and coolant sprayed out of it. Cole yelped in pain as arcs of lightning formed all over his body. Eggory tries to violently rip Cole off of him.
“I though Eggory was a friend???” exclaimed Sparrow
“PEOPLE CHANGE SON!” Cole explains as a metal strip wrapped around Eggory and an electric shock was shot through him.
“Evidently..” said Sparrow
--
As Eggory struggles, he snarls and his arms split into more limbs. Thunder rolls even closer to the group.
“I don’t understand.” Luna says, shocked by what’s happening in the backyard “Eggory has never attacked us like this.”
“It seems Eggory doesn’t like Sparrow… which yes, I know, is stating the obvious” sa Syspider
“YOU MIGHT WANNA GO INSIDE BEFORE THINGS GET REALLY FUCKING UGLY!” Cole exclaims! Lightning struck nearby as Cole shot Eggory in the head with his revolver.
“I’m staying out here. I will not desert you.” Luna says.
“It wouldn't be the first time i was left to die” mumbles Cole
Sparrow runs back inside to hide, specifically into Harmonia’s closet.
“I refuse to leave you Cole. This is a [kiss] problem. And besides, I've been itching for a fight.”
“I ain’t leaving” says Knight
“Can someone lend me a weapon?” asks Spider
Drew went into his backpack and gives Spider a hard light staff.
Luna tapped the purple cat app on her phone, transforming her from her demon cat form to her magical girl form. She was excited to finally test drive her new magic powers in combat. “Ready.”
--
Eggory’s face stretches out and his teeth run like a chainsaw. Even more eyes appear and open all across his face.
“Oooooh this is gonna be fun.” says Luna.
“Damn dude.” says Drew.
“Holy fuck”, says Knight
Cole's eyes glows a bright purple as his lightning arcs get brighter. The smell of burning clothes fills the air.
Luna augments her sword with the power of ice; her amethyst broadsword glowing a soft white.
As everyone is in their battle stances, a multitude of camera flashes go off. Luna knows what this means. “Oh Monopoly, you don't miss a chance, do you…?” Luna facepalms hard. It’s only a matter of life or death with an enraged Hadal ready to kick our asses. Might as well make it a KODAK moment…
Eggory continues trying to break free from the metal strips, becoming gradually stronger and stronger. More metal strips form to keep him binded. In each of Eggory’s hands, an egg appears. Knowing that they’re weak to ice, Luna shoots them all with an icy cold blast of air trying to freeze them all solid. “BLIZZARD BLAST!” Unfortunately, she is only able to freeze half of them.
“Cole, get the rest of them!” she exclaimed. Eggory launched the non-frozen eggs. Cole is able to freeze all of them but one, which cracks at his feet. An unseen force slices Cole’s throat open with a red spark.
Thankfully, Cole is able to heal his throat almost instantly, but the metal strips fall off of Eggory. Eggory gets up and continues his sprint towards the kitchen. Knight intercepts by tackling him to the ground, but due to the static, Knight’s body becomes numb as he continues to touch him. Knight fights through the pain and sticks to him. Cole sends even more metal strips at Eggory, this time coated in frost. In retaliation, Eggory’s claymore flew through the air and strikes Cole in the back.
“EGGORY WHY!” screams Luna, fucking scared for Cole’s life
“God Damn It Eggory!” exclaims Knight.
Cole fell over and screams in pain as he tries to grip the sword out of him. “KNIGHT, YOU MIGHT WANNA FUCKING MOVE!”
Knight refuses to release himself. “I’LL BE FIIIIIIIIIIINE!”
Lock stepped out. “Hey how’s it-- oh.”
Luna calls to her, “Lock, you might want to get back inside. We have an angry as fuck Hadal on the loose!”
One of Cole’s lightning bolts struck both Eggory and Knight. The Fried Bunny still clings onto Eggory like a piece of old gum stuck to a park bench. Eggory screeches and breaks free of the frosted metal strips as he reaches for the sword.
“AHHHHH” screams Knight
“I TOLD YOU TO MOVE” yells Cole. He managed to get the sword out of him and kept it away from Eggory. A faint “critical damage” could be heard from Cole. Luna rushes in to grab the sword, but a bolt of lightning from Eggory struck it, electrocuting Cole.
Knight continues hanging onto to Eggory. You know how a kid would hug their parents leg? That’s what he was doing. Eggory tries to shake him off, but Knight hanged on for dear life, sticking his claws into Eggory’s leg. “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Spider rushes over to Eggory and swings her staff into his head. It landed with a bonk, but didn’t seem to do any damage. Spider rushes Eggory again, this time landing a strike on his knee. It forces him to kneel. Eggory’s neck stretches out like a snake’s trying to bite at Knight, who is still clinging to his leg.
--
The Lightning attacks didn’t seem to be affecting Eggory at all, nor did the Frost attacks.
“WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, HE’S HADAL. We are using Cold.” Cole noticed.
“So fire?” asked Luna.
“Fire.”
Luna swaps her sword’s elemental to fire. “Knight, I'm about to hit him with fire. Get off of him.” Knight exclaims that he is incapable of dying and will continue holding on.
Lighning strikes Cole once more as flesh, blood, and coolant fly everywhere. “FUUUUUUUUUCKING DAMMIT!”
“Fucks sake. Take this, BLAZING FIRE!!!!!!!!” Fire blasts from her amethyst sword, engulfing Eggory in red hot flames.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” exclaimed Knight. White sand went flying everywhere, but Knight continues to cling onto Eggory. Drew pulled out a Halo flamethrower and joins Luna in dousing Eggory in flames.
A quiet mutter of “This will make a great sequel to ‘The Unlucky Knight’ was heard from the rooftop. Even more camera flashes were seen.
Eggory screeches in the roaring fire as he lunges at Cole trying to bite at him and taking a step forward. Cole stands up and taps his temple 3 times. His Halo armor is summoned. It was painted black with a gold emblem of a pickaxe on the chest along with golden accents on the arms, legs, and helmet. Cole steps into it, dodging Eggory’s lunge.
Luna continued her fiery assault on Eggory, making sure not to directly hit Knight. Knight took a big chomp out of Eggory’s leg. His mind went blank but still held on for dear life like the gremlin he is. Cole’s armor activates, calling out “HOLY FIRE ACTIVATE!!!” 12ft flames sprayed out of Cole’s forearms as he laughs maniacally. Eggory, seemingly unaffected by everything, continues to step forward towards Harmonia’s house.
“We might need the big guns for this.” Luna said. She claps her hands, swapping her amethyst broadsword for the ichor claymore she received from Pie months ago. “Ichor claymore time.” She added fire to the claymore and ran at Eggory, cutting his side wide open. It acted like a hot knife through butter, making red sparks and Eggory even more enraged. “Now that’s what we call SUPER EFFECTIVE!”
Luna went in for another strike, attempting to damage Eggory’s leg, the one that Knight was not on. “FLAME SLASH!” The strike lands perfectly, except it removes his leg instead of damaging it. The former leg melts into boiled mush. She’s heartbroken that that happened, but this isn’t the time to feel sorrow.
Eggory tries to bite at Cole’s leg, but due to the armor he was wearing, it blocked most of the damage and only breaking part of the armor. Eggory attempts to bite Cole’s unprotected leg which failed and summons even more eggs to attack the party with. Luna swaps to ice and tried to freeze the eggs once more, but due to him being on fire, it doesn’t work. Eggory put an egg in his mouth and attempts to bite Luna’s leg, but she’s able to dodge with a flip. Cole attacks Eggory’s head with his trusty pickaxe, but it only managed to bonk his head. On the bright side, the force causes the egg in his mouth to break, and the unseen force slices Eggory’s throat open with red sparks. Cole kicks his opened throat, but the wound heals around Cole’s leg, trapping him. Cole heated his his armor to 1000 degrees, but due to the static, Cole’s body went numb and sent random signals to him. Cole’s armor malfunctioned with the Halo CE beeping noise coming from the armor. Eggory attempts to perform a death roll like an alligator, trying to cause as much damage to Cole as possible. Cole’s armor locks up and he’s swung around like a ragdoll. Thankfully, the armor took the brunt of the damage, and not much of it either.
“Eggory, I don’t want to kill you, but if it’s to save my friends’ lives, I will” said Luna, shaky as all hell.
Cole rips his leg out of Eggory’s throat and slams his foot into his face, hard enough to cause the ground to quake. Luna, thinking super quickly, sheathes her claymore and swaps to fire augmented throwing knives, breaking as many eggs as she could. Each egg that broke caused Eggory’s throat to get even more damaged by the same unseen force as before. Drew and Cole join in, causing immense damage. Cole grabbed his head and pulled while Drew tore at the flesh connected to the throat. Eggory struggles as the tear in his throat eventually went all the way through and his head came off, therefore killing Eggory.
“Tonight, we are victorious.” Cole said, smiling maniacally in his helmet and carrying Eggory’s head like a trophy. Knight was a Fried and Flambéd bunny. And Luna… wanted to break down and cry. She just witnessed another one of her friends be killed without her being able to stop it. "I am so sorry Eurus." she says, on the verge of tears.
Eggory’s former body melted into mush, sparking with red sparks.
“So did we just kill Eggory? Again.” asked Spider. “Yeah… Eggory is dead. Again.” replied Luna, clearly feeling down and out. Cole tries to ask her if something was wrong, but Luna regained composure and denied it.
“I feel like something is wrong” said Cole.
“It’s.. fine. Job well done everyone.” replied Luna. Her words sound positive, but her emotions tell a different story.
Lock is excited after watching the [Kiss] defeat an enemy. “THAT WAS COOOOOOOL”
Knight woke up after passing out with lots of white sand everywhere. “Sand is course and rough and it gets everywhere.”
"Hey, you did amazing knight. sorry if the fire hurt" Luna said
“It didn’t, I’m just gonna lie here in the sand a bit.”
"Thank goodness." Luna smiled and returned inside.
--
Exhausted and feeling sad, Luna reenters the living room and sits on the couch. Kade and Orpheus are doing their usual lovey-dovey thing together.
“Everything alright?” asked Kade
“Not really. You know that Eggory person right? Well he attacked us.” said Luna
"MAYBE" said Orpheus at the same time as Luna.
"Ohthatwasntforme" Orpheus replied, embarrased. At the same time, Luna said, "oh wait, that wasn't for me was it? Shit. Sorry.”
“Nononono it was for both it was both!” Kade reassures the both of them.
Luna takes a breath. “Okie. Well Eggory attacked us and um…” her eyes meet the floor. “We killed him.” Her eyes become watery and flows down her cheeks.
“Technically he killed himself” retorts Spider.
“Yeah…”
“..Ah, sorry to hear so.” Kade replied. He set Orpheus on his lap patting his head. “Would you like some comfort?”
Luna wipes her eyes with her dress sleeve and nods slightly.
“I didn’t want to kill him. I just wanted to protect the house. To protect Sparrow..”
After making sure Orpheus was comfortable, Kade leaned over and gave Luna a big hug. “It’s alright.” She accepts the hug, tears flowing silently.
“Sorry, it’s just.. I got really bad flashback back there to when Sparrow’s head came off..” she trailed off
He pats her back some, hugging her firmly. "No need to be sorry. It's understandable."
Her voice is completely shot, unable to get anything more than a whisper out. “Thank you, Kade.
"No need to thank me. It's best to let everything out.
“I just wish it didn’t come to this. What matters is Sparrow is safe.”
“That's fine, and understandable. It's unfortunate that it happened.”
“Thank you. I feel a bit better.” Luna released from the hug and transformed back into her cat form. “On the bright side, that was my first official fight in MG mode. Works really well. And I know the ichor claymore works now.” she said, with some vague hope in her voice.
“Glad to hear it” Kade said.
Afterwards, Luna takes a catnap, as she always does after a hard fight.