MailMan had recently looked in the mirror and altered himself to be "human" again! He's still wearing his messenger bag and had just fallen asleep after staying up all night. Joshua is snoozing while snuggled up to MailMan when something in the bag moves. Joshua stirs slightly and paws at the bag while still asleep. There’s a loud hissing from the bag.
Joshua jolts fully awake and stares at the bag. "is....is there a fucking snake in there?" A large black snake head peeks out from the bag and flashes its fangs at Joshua with a hiss. Joshua fucking screams and leaps off of the couch with his fur sticking straight up.
MailMan wakes up groggily. "Huh??" The snake starts slithering out of the bag onto the sofa
Joshua points at the snake. "Why is there a fucking snake in your bag?"
MailMan looks over at the snake as it slides down off the sofa and onto the floor "Huh, must have gotten in there by mistake"
Joshua groans and aims a stomp on the snake's head. The snake gets stomped but survives and lunges at his other leg trying to bite him. Joshua jumps back avoiding the bite "Fucker"
Joshua's tail cracks like a whip and it smacks the snake at full force. It stuns the snake a moment as it hisses again, MailMan had dozed off but quickly gets up after hearing the sound "I’M UP I’m up"
Joshua's tail wraps below the snake’s head and starts constricting it, "Huh, funny how a whip crack really makes you jump"
"Isnt that how you wake someone up?" He sounds wide awake now as he walks over to him and watches. The snake makes snake with no air noises
"No? It isn't? Just go grab a knife for me really quick"
"Oh I have one right here." He pulls out a machete from his messenger bag.
"Oh my god, just give me it" Joshua holds his paw out to MailMan. He hands it over, snake still doing snake stuff. Joshua takes it and twirls it in his paw and then aims to stab it right through the snakes head. The snake dies. Joshua walks over to a window, opens it, and tosses the snake outside. As he shuts the window, he turns to MailMan, "So why the fuck was there a snake in your bag?"
"I dont know" he shrugs
"Give me your bag so I can make sure there isn't another fucking wild animal." Joshua puts the machete down on the table and extends his paw to MailMan
"Ok but I’m warning you! Be careful!" he takes it off and holds it out. Joshua takes it with a sigh and starts rifling through it Theres tons of blank papers, Hallmark cards, and stamp sheets with packs of envelopes. There’s also a small box and singular stale sugar cookie with something written in icing. Joshua grabs the box and inspects it with a suspicious eye. It has one opening and written in sharpie it says ‘Thin air.’ Joshua puts the box back, grabs the singular stale cookie, and tries to read what's on there. It says ‘my heart’. MailMan, on seeing him grab the cookie, looks more nervous "uuhh..dear..uh, careful"
Joshua stares at MailMan and licks the cookie. MailMan’s eyes instantly water as he lowers into sitting on the ground and starts crying. Joshua puts the cookie away and sets the bag down as he walks over and crouches down next to MailMan, "what's wrong?"
"Wwhy did you have to dooo thaaatt???" he continues crying
"Was that your real heart??"
He nods
"Then I’m very sorry. I thought it wasn't actually your heart," Joshua grabs it back and gets the heart out as he blows on the part he licked and tries to brush it off with his shirt. It’s in this moment Joshua realizes he has no clue where that cookie has been let alone how old it is. Joshua thinks for a moment and then starts rubbing his tongue with his paws, "Eehhhhhhh," The taste starts to set in. A mix of dust, dirt, lint, moldy icing, and various forms of packing tape and glues invade the flavor. Joshua rubs his tongue more while gagging. The flavor starts fading. MailMan gets done crying and wipes his face. Joshua stops and looks down at MailMan "Remind me to not do that again."
"Don’t forget to not do that again"
Joshua giggles lightly. "Thank you, I uh have something to do today, and I have to do it alone"
"You’re going back to work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" MailMan stands straight up and starts fixing Joshua’s fur and straightening Joshua’s shirt "IM SOOO GLAD! WE FINALLY GET TO DO OUR PART AND PAY TAXES AGAIN!!!!" MailMan smiles like a kid in a candy store.
"Sure......sure it's that," Joshua sighs.
"Oh I wouldn’t want you to be late, GO RIGHT NOW!!!" MailMan jumps slightly in excitement "GOD I LOVE DOING TAXES!!!!!"
Joshua sighs again and disappears
---
Joshua appears and knocks on Harmonia’s front door. The bronze-winged being from Thicket appears and taps on Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua turns around "Oh my fucking god."
"What did I just say?"
"If I take him, he is gonna fuck it up!"
"I gave you orders and you refused to listen to them. This is your last chance before the consequences escalate drastically....oh and you forgot something," The Angel snaps as MailMan appears, but with black eyes and black hair. His eyes are fully black, like the whole eyeball.
Joshua pinches the bridge of his nose and groans "Fucking really?" The being fades into nothing and MailMan glances around.
---
Luna and Spider were hanging out in the living room when they heard the knock at the door.
"Did anyone hear a knock?" Luna asks.
"Yeah, you wanna get it?" responds Spider.
"Um. I admit, I'm kinda scared to. Last thing we need after all of this is a fucking egg."
"And when was the last time we saw Eggory?"
"...oh yeah, we killed him." Luna sighs and goes to open the door. "Can we help you?"
Joshua is standing there and looks slightly annoyed, "Hi so I know we were kinda dickheads, but I just wanna apologize because I really like my head on my shoulders."
"And I wanted to apologize to you too for kicking you in the dick. That was fucking rude of me and I won't do it again." Luna says.
"Thank you, and I think someone else has something to say." Joshua elbows MailMan
MailMan groans, "Watch it!"
"Here we go.." groans Spider
"I can't promise the rest of [the kiss] will be so easy, but I accept your apology for what it's worth. Both you and MailMan." Luna smiles, though it looks like her face has seen some shit in the past few days.
Joshua whispers to MailMan, "Fucking apologize dipshit."
"I’m not apologizing for shit. I didn’t do shit," MailMan folds his arms with sass.
"Other than enter the house when we said no then headed into the hallway without our permission," Luna says.
"I didnt do any of that!"
"Right, that was 'Stacy'"
"No that was MailMan, However I don't think this is," Spider gestures at MailMan.
Joshua pinches the bridge of his nose, "give me 2 seconds," then turns completely to MailMan, "Why the fuck are you so god damn emo?"
"Because it's not him Josh," Spider says.
MailMan flicks Joshua on the nose, "Fuck off catnip"
Joshua holds his nose. "Fucking cuck."
"Whoa. Yeah I really don't think that's MailMan. Or at least maybe a different form of him. He's usually so jolly." Luna says.
{- Bizarro MailMan. -}
"Well I don't want this MailMan. I want the other one"
"You think I’m some sad ass postal worker?" MailMan asks.
"...then who are you?" Luna asks.
"If all you two are gonna do is argue then you can just fuck off?" Spider asks.
"I dont know who I am, frankly I dont give a shit. And no fuck you," Mailman says.
"Hang on." says Luna. "Do you have a name?"
"Just said I dont have a name, got cotton in your ears?" Mailman asks.
"Yes actually, except instead of cotton, it's white fluff. Helps me hear better." Luna replies with a smile.
Melody walks in and looks at the newcomers. "Hi!!"
"Ugh...another person. Great," Mailman mutters.
"Oh- should I leave?" Melody asks
Joshua groans. "You know what, just uh call me or whatever when this is over," He disappears.
"How do we-- oh come on. Um... well, 'Rebirth', would you like to come inside?" Luna is unsure what to call this person. It's clearly not MailMan, so Rebirth might be correct? Melody leaves.
"You’re naming me like some lost puppy now?" MailMan walks in.
"Yes." Luna says completely blankly, as if she's tired of this shit. Mailman goes to lean on the wall where Cole usually does.
"So what do you want then?" Spider asks
"You came all the way from Delaware to be with us. Why are you here?" Luna adds
"I don’t know. Don’t even know what a Delaware is"
"I've met quite a few people like that. Unaware of any states other than Berwick." Luna sighs, reminding herself to teach Sparrow basic geography. "Do you know how you even came here? Like teleportation?"
"I dunno" he shrugs
"Well if you don't want anything then theres the door," Spider gestures over at the front door.
"And where exactly would I go?"
"Not my problem" Spider retorts.
Luna looks lost in thought. "Do you know where home is?"
"Nope," he starts picking at his nails in boredom
"...How's Corn doing?"
"No clue who that is"
Luna opens her laptop and notes everything. "I see. Um. Are you hungry? I can get you something from the kitchen."
"Grub?"
"Yeah, or water, whatever you want."
"Hell yeah"
"Um. Mac and cheese ok?"
"Ew no. You know what I know what to get" he gets off the wall and walks to the kitchen
"Uhhh okay sure." Luna disappears with her laptop.
---
In the kitchen, Melody makes some pancakes for herself. Mailman walks in. Melody is eating pancakes with fruits at the table. She notices MailMan and looks a bit nervous but continues eating. He rolls his eyes and goes to open the fridge. He stands there letting the cold air out for awhile as he just looks at the food, ducking behind the fridge door and moving stuff around to see everything Melody just kinda watches, interested. After a good moment, he stands up straight again as his eyes and hair are back to normal. He looks slightly dazed.
Luna enters. "Uhh MailMan?"
He shakes his head and looks over at Luna as he closes the fridge door "Oh hello!" He resumes a chipper tone and smile.
"Ah hello!" Luna's smile and optimism is restored, just like MailMan's everything.
He goes to flip his hair but nothing is there. "Seems I’m out of disguise at the time being!"
Melody looks confused. "Whyd you call him MailMan?"
"That's the name I know him as. What do you call him Mel?"
She looks confused as fuck. "I dont- know him?? I know a MailMan but hes a snake-"
"Oh! Melody! Good to know you are well!" MailMan smiles
"Huh. Actually that's a good point. He was a snake last time I saw him. Lust demon I think?" Luna says.
{- Not counting "stacy" of course -}
"Snake or not I can still make a mean batch of apple turnovers!" MailMan smiles. Luna's stomach growls at the mention of apple turnovers.
Melody looks confused. "Are you MailMan?? Why are you human?? Im confused..."
"I am MailMan! Just a bit more human is all!" He goes to start bringing out a few pans.
"Heck yeah." Luna turns to Melody. "When we first met MailMan, he was a human alongside a few other various mailmen. And then... at some point, he turned into a lust demon I think?"
Melody watches him. "I’m happy to see you then!!" She hops up and extends her arms for a hug. He accepts the hug. She pats his back!! "Okay yeah same hugs!!" Mailman lets go. Melody does as well and sits at the table again. "So you’re gonna make food?"
"Of course I am!" He resumes getting out supplies.
"What’re you gonna make!"
"Apple Pie, Apple Turn Over, Apple Blondies, Apple Bread, Apple Butter, Apple Butterscotch Snack Cake, Apple Cake with Browned Butter Frosting, Apple Cake with Honey Glaze, Apple Cheesecake Bars, Apple Cheesecake Napoleons, Apple Cider Donuts, Apple Cinnamon Blondies, Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Cookies, Apple Cinnamon Pretzel Bites with Caramel Dipping Sauce, Apple Cinnamon Roll Muffins, Apple Cinnamon Rolls-" He keeps going as his eye twitches. Melody just smiles and listens, nodding.
"Uhhhh..." Luna listens to him list with genuine confusion.
{- Okay Applejack -}
"Apple Cinnamon Streusel Bread, Apple Cinnamon Swirl Bread, apple cookie dough cupcakes, Apple Cookie Dough Cupcakes, apple cranberry hand pies, Apple-Cranberry Hand Pies, a stack of apple cream cheese tarts, Apple Cream Cheese Tart, Apple Crisp Bars, apple crisp cheesecake parfaits, apple crisp coffee cake, apple croissants, apple crumb cake, apple danish braid, apple dumplings, apple dumplings, apple filled pull apart bread, apple fritter bread, Apple Fritter Cakes, apple fritter rings with caramel sauce, Apple Fritter Rings with Caramel Sauce"
Melody just smiles and nods
"...Hey MailMan, I think that's more than enough. Also you said Apple Fritter Rings with Caramel Sauce twice. And apple dumplings twice." Luna says, trying to stop him.
"And that’s just the appetizers!" He’s brought out every dish and cookware in the whole kitchen and begins dragging massive bags of fresh apples out of the cabinets.
"Where the heck did you get those from?" Luna isn't even mad, just... shocked. Amazed. Man's just pulled food from thin air. He keeps getting out more. Luna backs up from MailMan, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
"One of my interests is Sanrio! Is yours apples?" Melody asks.
"Just as I’ve always said since now! My best interest is you!" Mailman gestures vaguely at the room and gets out more bags.
"Is who!" She asks, head tilting a bit
"All of us, apparently?" Luna says.
"Epic!! Wanna know about Hello Kitty and her friends?" Melody asks.
The floor is covered with bags of apples as he starts using an apple peeler over the trash can, Mailman asks, "Do they want something to eat too?"
"They aren’t real! Well. Well maybe they are but they’re on tv so I don’t know them." Melody says.
"You watch a tv too!!!" He says while rapidly apple peeling
"Mhm!!!" Melody starts talking about Hello Kitty episodes. Luna pulls up a chair and listens to Melody, it's really cute listening to her talk about Sanrio. MailMan stares her in the eyes as she talks and continues rapid apple peeling. Melody stares back and eventually finishes. "So what have you guys been up too!!"
"Making Joshy happy!" Mailman says.
"Has that been going good!"
Mailman stares, still smiling, but doesn’t respond. Melody smiles back and waits! He smiles and stares for another good while. She smiles and stares back, as if waiting for him to respond. He stares.
Spider walks in, still looking tired "I see MailMan's back"
"Yup. Back to his normal cheery self." Luna says while watching the staring contest of the century.
"You call that cheery?" Spider asks.
"Do you not see the bags of apples on the ground?" Luna asks.
"Do you not see his demented expression?" Spider retorts.
Luna sighs. "I don't know anything anymore."
"I’m not being demented right now" MailMan says. Melody starts bouncing in her seat, vibing.
"Anyway, all of that apple stuff sounds amazing MailMan. Can't wait to see what you make." Luna would mention she's rather hungry but doesn't want to accidentally trigger a flag. The cooking continues as he’s done with the most difficult part. There’s several trash bags of apple peels.
"Not demented," he mumbles. Everything smells of apples, the scent wafting all around the house.
"Suuure you ain't" Spider teases.
"I’m not...right now" Mailman says. Melody looks a bit out of it and stares at the bags of apple peels. The cooking becomes a bit faster.
Luna zones in and is in love with the scent. "Apples. One of my favorites."
"Looks delicious MailMan." Says Luna despite her inability to see what he’s making due to being short.
"I’m already dating someone!" Mailman says.
"Same here MailMan. A lovely catgirl." Luna replies. Mailman looks at her with a raised eyebrow for a moment before going back to cooking. He cooks even faster.
"Um." she says, noticing how quickly he's going. Something doesn't feel right.
---
The being from before appears in the center of the room as the lights pulse some. Joshua, who was on the couch, fucking recoils and screams, "I TRIED FUCKER, I TRIED"
"Tried? You gave up after your first try. MailMan is succeeding on his own without you and you have made no progress," the Angel begins walking towards him.
"THEY ACCEPTED THE APOLOGY I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT" Joshua climbs onto the top of the couch.
"It’s one thing to ask for and receive an apology bringing you to neutral ground, I’m asking you establish a friendship. You wouldn’t want to lose him forever would you? Cause I will separate you two if you cant behave as well as he is at this moment, or keep him that way...and I mean a more permanent separation."
Joshua stands there stunned for a moment and then slightly shakes with fear, "Well uhm w-what about C-Cole? I doubt he wants to be n-neutral"
"That’s not my problem now is it? I gave an order, and I expect it to be followed."
"O-okay I can uhm I c-can try I can s-start with Cole" Joshua nods quickly and fearfully.
"You better try." the being fades and disappears. Joshua takes a deep breath and disappears.
---
Joshua appears in the front yard once more, clearly nervous about trying to be friends with Cole. Cole, who’s sitting in the living room, waves his hand and the door swings open. Joshua walks in and sits with Cole as they start talking. The Mascot is listening into their conversation. As they talk, the smell of fire starts to fill the room and Joshua is getting more and more scared by the second.
In the kitchen, Luna's just typing away, enjoying the scent of apple in the air. MailMan’s cooking becomes slightly aggresive, before pausing and sniffing. "Oh no.. It’s burning.. SOMETHING BURNING!?!??!" He sprints to the living room as a tray of apple slices hit the ground.
Melody stirs. "B-burning?" She gets up and follows.
"What the shit??” Luna follows as well.
MailMan yells, "WHATS BURNING?!?!?!?!"
Cole looks over at the both of them as the smell of fire dies down, and Joshua looks petrified as Cole clears his throat and speaks "Something wrong?"
"Ayo what the fuck is burning??" Luna asks
"Nothing is burning. Go back to the kitchen."
"Uhhh right." Luna says.
"I smell fire kinda..." Melody says
"I do too." Luna adds.
"I smelled something burning, something had to have burned, what is burning?" MailMan asks, panicking.
"Nothing, nothing is burning." Cole is oddly calm while Joshua is shaking.
"Joshy, you cold?" Mailman asks.
Joshua shakes his head and speaks rapidly and nervously, "N-no I'm good I'm uh good"
Melody tilts her head. "Why are you shaking?"
Joshua looks down at himself and speaks nervously again "Oh I am uh I g-guess I have seen a ghost." He nervously laughs afterwards.
"Wait, I thought you had to work today?" Mailman asks.
Joshua shakes his head "Uh n-no I didn't. The uhm angel told me I needed to make up with everyone here s-so I s-started with Cole."
"Angel?" Melody tilts her head. MailMan's smile lessens some.
"Angel? Is that a divulgar or an actual angel??" Luna asks.
"I uhm I d-don't know" Joshua shrugs.
"Can you describe it? If you can't that's fine."
Joshua shakes his head "I uhm c-can't recall how it looks right now, maybe uhm later?"
"That's fine. I understand. So this angel told you to make up with everyone? I'm guessing under some kind of threat? Otherwise, you wouldn't have started with Cole." Luna says. Joshua nods and Cole returns to staring at Joshua. Luna internally notes this.
{- I got the doc open, Lunes. -}
Joshua looks more fearful the longer Cole stares at Joshua.
"Cole, I know Joshua has done some really fucked up things in the past, but can you forgive him? I don't like the sounds of some angel telling them to do this." Luna says. Melody looks to MailMan to see his reaction. MailMan is difficult to read but still has a small smile while watching the conversation.
Cole doesn't respond. Joshua looks even more fearful and starts to scoot away from Cole as he fearfully whispers, "p-please stop staring"
"But why would it tell you two to make up with us? That's where I'm lost." Luna mutters. Melody gently tries to reach for Mailman's hand, but MailMan doesn’t notice.
Joshua, while still staring at Cole, nervously speaks, "I d-don't k-know I r-really d-don't"
"Is this the same entity that had you two come by for our fears? I'm assuming as such anyway."
Joshua nods fearfully and continues to scoot away from Cole
"I see. Whatever angel this is wants [the kiss]'s collective fears, potentially to use them on us. And also to be friends with Joshua and MailMan. I don't understand its motive." Luna says, closing her eyes lost in thought. Joshua is up against a wall and still looks terrified seemingly unable to look away from Cole. "This almost feels like initiation. Asking the two of them to befriend us, especially the one who has been hurt the most by Joshua, Cole. It's a seemingly incredibly difficult task, one that I'm thinking this angel might recognize as such. And the same way with the fears. Asking the group who has been utterly terrorized by Abaddon and Jack to spill their fears."
Joshua doesn't respond. MailMan looks down at his hand after awhile then at Melody. Melody looks back. She looks a little bit nervous about the situation.
"They're tasks both extremely high in difficulty. Possible to achieve, but almost impossible." Luna says. Joshua again doesn't respond. Luna notes Joshua's silence. Luna closes her eyes deep in thought, trying to decide her next move. "Are you two gaining anything in doing this? Again, if you cannot answer, silence is a viable response." Joshua doesn't respond and Cole is starting to quietly giggle.
"Cole?" Luna asks, noticing the giggle.
Cole doesn't look away from Joshua and responds with a happy tone, "Yes?"
"...you're enjoying this aren't you?"
Cole shrugs "Debatable."
Luna reaches out to Cole telepathically. {"This must be cathartic for you, finally seeing Joshua scared shitless."}
Cole, ("ohhh trust me it's fucking therapeutic, also don't step into my gaze")
Luna, {"...I'm not stepping between you and Chris... or wait you mean your eye gaze, not the 'gays'"}
Cole, ("I would facepalm buuut I wanna keep Joshua scared so I can't")
Luna, {"...I see. I didn't know you had that ability."}
Cole, ("Oh I don't, though I can make people see me......differently")
Luna just looks over to Cole like what the fuck? Cole doesn't look at Luna, but he has a wide smile.
"Whats your opinion on taxes?" MailMan asks Melody as hes distracted.
She blinks. "What are taxes?"
"Taxes are when a government and their workers’ hard earned money love each other very much" MailMan explains.
"Money can love?" asks Melody
"Money is how you show people love" Mailman smiles.
"But we didnt use money at home and we still loved each other"
"Thats called fake love"
"No... no it's not fake." Melody says.
{- What. -}
Cole, ("Luna, you might wanna ya'know change the topic")
Luna, {“Shit, you’re right.”}
Luna rushes in to change the topic away from taxes. "Hey MailMan, don't you have things cooking in the kitchen?? Apple everything. Don't want them to burn, lest we get another fire in this house."
"It is fake, they were just pretending to love you and there’s no way to tell if I’m telling the truth or not" Mailman ignores Luna, as he is too busy staring at Melody.
"How about that weather outside huh?” Luna struggles to change the topic. “It's so pretty out there with the cracked skies."
Melody tries to let go of his hand, ears moving downwards as she looks... sad? Scared? Both? "W-why are you saying this-"
"And that baseball! It's so goo-- wait, there's no sports anymore. Uhhhhhhhh MailMan, your pastries are going to burn!"
Luna, {“Help.”}
Cole, ("Luna, I can't really fuckin do anything unless you want whoever I look at to see what Joshua's seeing")
Luna, {"How bad are we talking?"}
Cole, ("......why don't you ask Joshua?")
Luna, {"Oh for goodness sake."}
Luna changes gears away from distracting MailMan and instead asking Joshua directly. "Hey Joshua, whatcha looking at?"
MailMan lets go, "It’s comforting isnt it?"
Luna takes an overexaggerated whiff while waiting for Joshua. "Holy shit is that fire???"
"N-no... its not..." Melody looks towards the kitchen. "B-burning?"
"I hope not, MailMan, we need to go check on it." Luna says.
Joshua shakily replies, "C-Cole. He j-just uhm he l-looks like i-if d-death h-had a f-fucking s-son and h-his son was e-every f-fear I have p-personified."
Luna facepalms. {"Really???"}
Cole responds, ("on god")
"And what exactly are your fears?" Luna asks.
MailMan’s eyes widen. “BURNING!” He sprints to the kitchen.
"I promise I'm not taking notes on these." Luna says.
{- But I am. -}
Melody is tearing up, thinking about what MailMan said.
Joshua shakily replies, "S-snakes a-and uhm tall p-people w-with manic g-grins and uhm I c-can't think of anything else."
"Snakes? But wasn't MailMan a snake?" Luna asks, confused.
"W-well l-like n-non-human s-snakes," Joshua trembles.
"Ohhhh, okay okay fair. Snakes are scary animals, so I don't blame you there." Luna turns her attention to Melody, who seems to be torn up after her conversation with MailMan. "Melody, don't listen to MailMan about love. Money isn't what makes people love each other. What you had with your family, despite all removal of money, is true love."
Melody nods. "Can I have a hug…?" Luna opens up her arms and hugs Melody tightly.
Joshua quietly blurts out "Phoenixes! T-those are p-pretty s-scary"
{- Phoenixes?? -}
"Wait, what do you mean by phoenixes?" Luna asks.
"T-the birds w-with the f-fiery w-wings"
"Well yeah, but what about them are scary? I can understand the snake and the tall manic people with wide grins." She does the gay hand motion to Cole. "But phoenixes are awesome."
"W-well t-this o-one h-has uhm b-bone w-wings and kinda l-looks human"
"Oh."
Luna, {"He's scared of you???" Like everything minus the snakes is just you."}
Cole, ("well, my wings aren't on fire")
Luna, {"You know what I mean though. He's describing you but on fire. And technically, I can make that happen using my fire magic."}
Cole, ("well, maybe he fears people that used to be his puppet but are now stronger then him")
Luna, {"I guess so. The snakes part worries me though. Hang on."}
"Hey Joshua, as for the snake fear, have you seen any snakes recently?" Luna asks.
"Y-yeah?" Joshua replies
"Hm. Could you describe it for me? Like I recognize this might be difficult."
“I-it w-was j-just b-black"
"...And I take it this one wasn't in the grass?"
Joshua shakes his head, "n-no"
"What is it with snakes being found in seemingly random places? About a month ago, Pie from the nonferal earth found a random dead snake on his keyboard. Feral snake I should mention." Luna pauses, annoyed. “I would ask Pie about that, but someone decided to obliterate the timeline."
Joshua is fucking terrified still.
{- So. A fear of snakes, and some angel that got the two of them to do seemingly impossible tasks for some unknown reason. It's so random that it wouldn't shock me if it's connected. -}
MailMan reenters after confirming his cooking isn’t burning.
"Hey MailMan. how's the pastries coming along? They smell very... apple-y. And I'm kinda hungry..." Luna says under her breath. Melody looks back at MailMan a bit nervously.
MailMan looks at Joshua then at Cole then at Joshua "What are you looking at dear?"
"O-oh ya'k-know just.....stuff"
MailMan looks over at Cole then at Coles eyes. He walks in between trying to see what Joshua is seeing. MailMan sees Cole with a manic grin standing at 7ft tall with his on-fire bone-white wings that have black smoke pouring off of them. He is at full wingspread with an old monarch staff with a black gem in the top of it.
"Hello," MailMan says to Cole. The 7ft tall Cole walks over to MailMan and bonks him on the head with the gem end of the staff, but he doesn't feel anything.
Luna, {"Okay, so that's just Joshua's fears, not MailMan's. I almost want to look myself."}
Cole, ("go for it, if you want")
Luna does exactly that, matching gaze with Cole. She cannot help but lose her shit in laughter.
Luna, {"You look like a goof."}
Cole, ("well fuck you too")
And then she looks away.
"You look strange" says MailMan.
{- Strange is one way to put it. -}
For MailMan, the gem on the staff changes as black smoke swirls around it. The smoke dissipates as Nicole's eyeless decapitated head replaces the gem. MailMan glances over at the staff. 7ft tall Cole holds the staff right up to MailMan's face and all he can smell is the rotten flesh. MailMan’s smile lowers to nothing as he stares at it frozen in place.
{- Um. So whatever Cole did is super effective to MailMan. -}
"Um, MailMan, what do you see?" asks Luna. MailMan lowers himself slowly to the ground and curls up in a ball. The real Cole laughs manically and keeps eye contact with MailMan.
Luna, {"...I doubt I'm going to get anywhere with MailMan himself, but I'm guessing you did something with maybe Corn? Since that's something he's torn up about."}
Cole, ("so you know that one rat?")
Luna, {"...Nicole? Okay, that one is just mean. It has something to do with her severed head doesn't it? The one scarecrow."}
Cole, ("mmaaaaybbeee")
Luna, {"Right. Makes sense. Both a fear of Rose/Nicole and losing Corn."}
Cole, ("The question is do I stop because I think they are both absolutely lost")
Luna, {"I think so. Honestly, I think they've had enough, but at the same time, I don't do the manic stuff so... it's your call. Funny how we get their fears naturally and they tried to ask us directly."}
Cole blinks and Joshua and MailMan stop seeing the 7ft tall Cole. "Well that was a little tiring." MailMan stays curled in a ball, staring.
"I can imagine. It's like my magic, it takes a lot of my focus to use. No, not focus, just like my actual energy being drained from my battery and my brain. Also you’re welcome. I am not doing that again for a little while," Luna sighs. Joshua is still shaking but seems to be calming down. Luna claps her laptop in front of her and types up notes on everything said. Cole stands up and leans against the wall next to the couch.
Joshua crawls over to MailMan and shakes him gently and says, "Are you okay, dear?" He doesnt respond. He’s stiff and his breathing is slow and shallow and his pupils are slightly smaller as he stares ahead. Joshua looks at Cole with a slightly angry glare and asks "What did you do?"
Cole sighs and looks over at Joshua, "Are you mad that your puppet just did something that your feline brain will never do?"
As Luna continues typing, something about the testimonies given just bothers her. "Angel..."
Joshua smirks and replies, "7454, obedient state." Cole's eyes glow blue as Joshua continues, "Go touch grass." Cole starts walking out the front door.
She just mutters to herself, not caring who listens. "Divulgars were considered angels in timeline 1. In timeline 2, we had hadals with wings, six wings. those could be considered angels as well.. Is the angel hadal?"
Joshua picks MailMan up and follows Cole out the door as Joshua says to Luna, "Your mom is hadal."
"I don't have a mom." She says, annoyed. After a couple minutes, Luna realizes Cole isn't there and heads outside looking for him.
---
Cole sits in the grass and places both of his hands on the grass. Joshua sits on the porch and watches Cole with a massive grin. Luna walks outside, and notices Cole literally touching grass. That's her bit, what the fuck. "Cole? Why are you literally touching grass?"
Cole turns to look at Luna with glowing blue eyes, "I was ordered to."
"Well stop it, it's creepy." Luna commands.
"No"
"Hey Joshua, did you do this?" Luna asks.
Joshua nods with a grin.
"Why?"
Joshua shrugs as Cole's eyes flicker to black. He stands up, snaps, and his pickaxe appears in his hand, saying with a distorted voice "Joshua, I'm gonna fucking kill you"
Luna just gets out of the way of the incoming blood bath. Joshua walks down to where Cole is and scoffs. "Go for it, you fucking can't"
Cole aims a swing at the side of Joshua's head with his pickaxe. Suddenly, a hand moves inches in front of Joshua’s head as the pickaxe hits what feels like a hard surface and bounces off with a kick. Standing between them now is a being with 6 large, seemingly stone or bronze wings. Its body is cloaked in shadows as it turns to face Cole.
"What." says Luna, shocked at the new contender.
Cole stares at it as it clicks in his head "YOU’RE THE FUCKING BOOGEYMAN."
"Six wings. The Hadal angel." Luna says.
"I thought you learned from your last visit." The Boogeyman begins walking towards Cole with the sound of heavy boots. Melody walks outside and tilts her head at the situation.
"Melody, go back inside, it's not safe out here!" Luna yells, noticing Melody come outside.
Cole stands his ground. "What are you gonna fuckin do? I have my powers here fuck ass!"
"And I do as well." There’s a feeling of bad luck growing in the area.
"Yep, that's hadal bad luck." Luna shivers with the feeling. "Not a fan."
"Try me, fuckass" The feeling of death fills the air as Cole grows to 7ft. Melody shivers and heads back inside. The grass around them starts to shake slightly as black snakes blanket the ground.
"Oh. How very... fun." Luna teleports out of the grass and over to the sidewalk.
Cole's bone wings unfurl from his back as his fingers turn featureless and get covered in black and green tissue. "I'm not scared of snakes, bitchass"
"Nor am I, but I'd still like to not get bitten!" Luna says. Cole can faintly make out one delicate, golden eye with long lashes smiling back at him.
"Do you want me to power up more or do you want me to stop before you get scared?" Cole teases.
"I’m waiting for your attack, not another Digimon transformation."
"Ew, Digimon" Cole's pickaxe handle lengthens to be as long as a scythe as he swings at the golden eye. The Boogeyman is sliced in two as it turns to smoke. Snakes lunge at his legs. Cole's bone wings flap hard as he hovers above the snakes and blows the snakes a raspberry. One of the snakes go to bite Joshua’s leg. Joshua recoils back and jumps onto the sidewalk as he yelps.
"Sup Josh, welcome to safety." Luna claps her hands summoning her weapons to her person. Her marked broadsword, couple pieces of pyrite, and knife pouch is there.
"You know Cole just like cut that fuckin thing in half and you’re just unphased?" Joshua looks at Luna with a surprised look.
"I'm used to fighting hadal jackasses." Luna shrugs.
"No I'm pretty sure he just committed murder."
The Boogeyman rises from smoke as it pulls back a bow and fires an sharp arrow at Cole’s gut.
"Told you."
The snakes start getting closer to Joshua. Luna slashes at the snakes in the grass with her broadsword. The arrow sticks in Cole's stomach as he groans and glides backward slightly. "You fucker." Cole divebombs at the Boogeyman as he swings at their bow holding arm. The pickaxe dinks off the arm as the Boogeyman recoils some from the force. The arrow turns to life as it becomes a snake with half its face buried into Cole. It thrashes around and tries to bite his insides. Cole fucking screams and grabs the snake and tries to rip it out. He gets it out as the Boogeyman shoots another arrow at his arm. More snakes pursue Joshua. Luna continues to slash away at the snakes pursuing Joshua.
Cole dodges it as he dashes to the side and aims another swing at the Boogeyman's bow-holding arm. Joshua's tail cracks like a whip as he hits any snakes getting too close to him. The swing dinks off and they recoil some. It seems their arm is made of something very hard. They fire another arrow at his shoulder. Cole dashes to the side as his wings catch fire and the fire only produces black smoke. "You know what, actually fuck you. After this fight you should listen to the fallout boys, the Phoenix it's a good song."
"Alright, I’ll go do that" The Boogeyman fades to black smoke as the snakes retreat into the grass and into the woods.
"... wait really? Apparently this thing has a weakness to music recommendations?"
"FUCKING BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER" Cole's mouth melts as black smoke pours out of it. Joshua runs over to MailMan and grabs him as they disappear. Luna just sighs. At least she helped protect an asshole from being bitten by snakes? "I’M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER THEM! HOLY SHIT THAT PISSES ME OFF LET ME FUCKIN KILL YOU!!" Black tar leaks out of Cole's mouth as he lands on the ground
"I'm guessing he needs to power up for the next fight."
"POWER UP MY FUCKING NUTS OH MY GOD"
"Yeah, he was actually strong as hell, plus able to alter arrows into snakes."
"HE FUCKIN RAN FROM ME, ABSOLUTE PUSSY"
"Yeah. I guess... maybe you were close to hitting a weakpoint. Or his armor was starting to break."
Cole takes a deep breath and exhales as black smoke pours out of his nose, "Either way, I'm a little angry"
"Reasonable. What even was that thing, other than the obvious Hadal with Bronze angel wings. It seemed like you knew em."
"In the fucking hell that me and Lock were in, that thing tortured me for days at a time." Cole tears up at the mention of Lock, his tears are black tar.
Luna goes silent at the mention of Lock. "I... see. Well um, I'm gonna head back inside. We'll kill it together alright?"
The fire on cole's wings extinguishes as they tuck back into his jacket. "Fuckin sure I guess." And then Luna goes back inside, feeling extremely hungry. Cole walks back inside as his mouth returns to normal.